The Chronicles of Sue #3 (Hamilton)

Well when we were on Hamilton Island a few weeks back all the bars had closed and we still wanted to keep drinking. All our alchhol was in the bosses hotle Suite and he had gone to bed. A group of us went to his room to try and wake him up. We banged on the door and tried to wake him and he wouldn't wake up so we sent one of the guys down to reception to pretend they were Jeff (the boss) and get a key.

This worked like magic, we got the door open but he had the bloody chain across didn't he? So we yelled some more he still did not come out, His boss was with us and was yelling that he would be sacked if he did not come out, still no movement!

We were about to give up when we noticed that the bathroom window was open. I took of the flyscreen and we grabbed Sue and started putting her thru the very small window. abotu half way thru she realised that she was going to to land on her head when we let her go so we pulled her out. We then got Daniel and lowered him thru feet first, he undid the chain let us in.

By the time the boss came down stairs to the lounge part of his room there was 10 people drinking smiking and laughing in his room.

The following night we were out with all of the company people and all of our customers when the bar closed. We of course still had the key that we had fraudulently obtained the previous evening. so Sue and I delayed the boss to have a chat while we sent everyone else back with the key. by the time he got back to his room there was close to 50 people drinking in his room!!

The Chronicles of Sue #2 (Airlie Beach)

We were up at Airlie beach pissing it up for a weekend an few weeks ago. We had just seen each other at The Entrance in NSW two weeks prior and pissed it up there but that didn't stop us going hard again.

We got there on Friday and we have leased a five star two story pent house appartment between 9 of us. We were out that night till pretty late before coming home leaving half the crew out partying still, I ended up in the Spa till all hours, came down soaking wet to get some dry clothes and fell down the stairs. Wet feet + Alchohol + Wooden spiral stair case = Sore JP.

Anyway Sue comes out of her room and yells to be quiet, mind you I am sprawled at the bottom of the stairs, I try to explain why I was being noisy but she just heads back to her bed. Comparing notes in the morning it turns out she was sleep walking!!!

Anyway feeling sorry for myself I went to my room to get changed and go to bed, open the door and there is Jeff Fucking a chick in my bed!!!! SO I end up sleeping on a couch on the balcony with wet shorts on!!!! Obviously not the most comfortable way to sleep so woke up at 7am, and everyone else got up pretty much straight away so we started on the beers at 7!!!

Suffice to say we had a very drunken day, at onestage Daniel passed out. Two of the boys shaved half of one of his eyebrows of. When he realised this several hours later we convinced him that he had done it himself and he believes it to this day!

The Chronicles of Sue #1

I thought I would write about my friend Sue

Sue lives in Sydney, I live in Melbourne, we both have the same job, In fact she helped me in getting me this job. We have both worked for the same company for over 5 years now, have crossed paths many times and always got along well. Both of us have worked our ways reasonably quickly up the corporate ladder in our own ways. Now that we are doing the same job we are pretty much inseparable.

We both love a good piss up and have many common enemies and friends. Corporate Australia is a mine field and we have both stood on several mines over the years.

We have pissed it up together under a thin guise of work in Hamilton Island, Melbourne, Coolum Resort, Blue Mountains, Hunter Valley, Port Douglas and countless times in Sydney. We have also caught up for drinks on our own dollar in Melbourne, Airlie Beach and Sydney.

I sometimes think I see her more often than I do my Melbourne friends, I definitely see her more often than my WA based family and we talk an average of 5 times A day during the week meaning that I talk to her more than any one else even my flatmates.

She means a lot to me as a friend and I don't think there is anyone I would rather party it up with. She is full on, she aint shy about speaking up and will do anything for a laugh or a dare. Always willing to hear me whinge but just as quick to tell me to shut up and get over it. She holds grudges against people for me that I have long forgotten about. I am a very lucky man to have such a friend.